It was the return of Simon Cowell’s infamous nasty side on this week’s Britain’s Got Talent, which also brought us arse-kissing (but surprisingly not involving David Walliams puckering up to ‘his Simon’s’ derriere), hilarious cackles from the female half of the panel and yet more marvellously quick quips from Ant & Dec.
But which auditionees made this week’s show particularly enjoyable? Let’s find out…
Jack & Cormac
Their names have a ring to them and their musical talents are great – just what we want from BGT auditionees. Arriving from Northern Ireland, thirteen- and fourteen-year-olds Jack and Cormac took to the stage and, armed with a guitar and good vocals, performed Of Monsters and Men’s ‘Little Talks’ and had Alesha, Amanda and the theatre audience cooing over their cuteness. I’ve no doubt they evoked a similar reaction from the viewing public – especially when Jack did his ‘It’s going well’ wink. There really is very little doubt that this pair will go through to the semi-finals, by which time they will hopefully have been able to conquer their nerves which, as Simon rightly pointed out, did slightly hinder their performance. Only slightly, though – and it’s impossible not to love them!
When I watched Phillip’s audition on Saturday I noted, ‘perhaps it was just excitement, but at the minute his is quite annoying’. Let me tell you that by now I have realised that it was not just excitement, as proved by his appearance on Daybreak on Monday when he was just as animated and (alarmingly) wide-eyed as he was on Britain’s Got Talent. Whereas I didn’t find Phillip quite as side-splittingly hilarious as the audience in the theatre did (a ‘You had to be there’ moment, perhaps?), I have now warmed to him a little bit. I just can’t get over how much he wants to be Rylan, though! And if that sounds harsh, it’s not: Phillip has actually said that he would love to be ‘the next Rylan’.
Anyway, to the subject of his impressions. I have a feeling that they only appeared funny because of his patter with the judges beforehand. For example, his Lorraine Kelly was passable, his Stacey Solomon accurate in pretty much every way except the voice (which is important if you’re an impressionist) and I can’t help thinking that his impersonation of Natalie Cassidy was learned from watching Morgana Robinson clips on YouTube, but they all seemed very funny because of the infectious personality he showcased beforehand. Without a shadow of a doubt, though, his mimicry of Louie Spence is fantastic – from the lisp to the camp movements (which didn’t seem that much of a stretch for him, to be honest) and splits, it was all pretty much bang-on.
Stephen Mulhern has claimed that Phillip could win this year’s competition. I doubt it, Stephen: just remind yourself of Francesca Lewis’s audition in Week 2. We’ll probably see him in the Hub on This Morning in the summer, though.
Who would have thought that a septuagenarian singing about ass-kissing and fellatio would have been quite as entertaining as it was – and suited to primetime ITV? Firstly, Kelly looks far from 71 years of age! And secondly, you wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of her, would you? I bet she’s got some experience in kicking ass, never mind kissing it!
I shudder to think what she has lined up for the Live Shows.
Aw! These youngsters from Port Talbot melted the judges’ hearts – yes, even that hitherto non-existent one in Simon – when they went from speaking eerily in unison to dancing impressively well. I’m sure they will follow in the footsteps of Nu Sxool, last year’s finalists and Pre-Skool’s inspiration for auditioning, and do very well in the competition.
Everyone knew that Rosie was going to be brilliant, right? Exactly! So was the editors’ (and most likely Cowell’s) blatant attempt to create another ‘SuBo moment’ completely necessary? Once again, exactly!
Anyway, rant over, let’s get back to Rosie: she was amazing. She has an amazing personality and voice and, by walking onto that stage, acted as a huge two fingers to the small-minded, shallow individuals who sadly see fit to air their horrid views on Twitter and forums and joke sites, condemning someone for daring to appear a way which is different to what they perceive to be the societal norm. Thank God Rosie managed to get over her body confidence issues and showcase her huge talent and I cannot wait to find out what she has lined up for the semi-finals, as it will undoubtedly show her to be just as, if not more, astounding than she already is.
Britain’s Got Talent and Britain’s Got More Talent are on Saturday evenings on ITV and ITV2
What did you think of this week’s Britain’s Got Talent? Do you agree or disagree with my review? Feel free to comment below or tweet me about this or any other TV show – @UKTVReviewer
You can also see my recommendations for the coming week’s TV on this blog, published every Saturday at midnight.
I just want to take this opportunity to raise awareness for Alex Neal.
Alex is seventeen-years-old and a fellow student of mine at Sunderland College. She has a very rare bone tumour, called chondrosarcoma, which is growing around her brain and has already affected her eyesight and hormone levels, meaning she will have to rely on HRT for the rest of her life.
This tumour cannot be treated in the UK. Therefore, Alex must travel to Florida to have it treated there. The NHS have agreed to fund her visit – but only with one parent accompanying her.
£5,000 is needed to send both of Alex’s parents to Florida with her for this urgent treatment. At the time of writing, an incredible £1,476 has been raised but her family need more and have been campaigning by holding ‘Action 4 Alex’ car boot sales, cake sales and selling wristbands.
Any money would be greatly appreciated by Alex’s family. Even spreading the word and encouraging others to get involved would, I’m sure, be greatly appreciated.