This week’s Britain’s Got Talent instalment was slightly shorter, but still quite enjoyable – even if we weren’t treated to as much ‘talent’ as we normally are.
This singing duo, which comprises of a teacher and construction worker who have donned purple dresses and the entire contents of the Clarins range, initially appeared to be little more than rubbish transvestites. In fact, viewers may have been forgiven for thinking that Lucas and Walliams had reprised their roles as Little Britain’s Emily and Florence.
Owing to their quite shabby appearance, I, and dare I say the entire nation, was not expecting much from them – maybe a gruff rendition of ‘Man I Feel Like a Woman’ at a push.
To my surprise, however, Bernie and Brenda (whose actual names are the comparatively less exciting Mark and Stuart) were excellent. They wowed the judges with their performance of ‘La Vie En Rose’ and were safely through to the next round.
And quite right too! Although I do suggest that Gok Wan and Lauren Luke give them a few tips…
Martin & Marielle
Bloody hell! I mean from the moment Alesha uttered something about not having seen a really good dance act yet, we knew that ‘a really good dance act’ was about to arrive – but this was something else!
Martin & Marielle, from Holland, don’t just do dancing – I think it would be fair to say that there is a little bit of acrobatics in their act, too.
To be honest, if I said that Martin spins Marielle around his neck, it probably wouldn’t do it justice, so please check them out on YouTube.
A lot of people’s names also serve to describe their talent. There’s William Wordsworth, for example, and um…oh…um…there must be someone else…er…
My point is, Thomas Bounce’s name pretty much describes his act. He was a bouncer – of balls. Watching him perform was certainly a treat – the way he juggled the multitude of balls with apparent ease was brilliant. I assure you, despite what my description implies, it was brilliant and exactly the kind of unique act which Britain’s Got Talent sets out to find.
Before his audition, he claimed that he wanted to ‘change the image of juggling’ and ‘make it cool’. To me, he certainly did that and, even if he didn’t gain a fan in Simon Cowell, he at least has the support of Messrs McPartlin and Donnelly.
Before Alex took to the stage, the viewers were shown a home video of him performing during a (quite screechy) karaoke session. This and his ‘geek chic’ look didn’t fill me with confidence. I don’t know if anyone else felt the same.
Even when he started singing, I didn’t think Alex was particularly good. I found it quite pitchy and, while not bad, by no means perfect. Having said that, when he became comfortable with the song, Alex hit his stride and overcame his shaky start to amaze the judges and theatre audience alike.
It’s not just his (eventually) great voice which makes Alex such an audience winner, as the fact that the chance to perform and the judges’ high praise meant a lot to him was palpable and endearing.
It wasn’t quite a SuBo moment, though, despite what the playing of ‘I Dreamed A Dream’ while he left the theatre implied.
Unfortunately I don’t know Callum’s surname because he mumbled it on stage and no caption appeared. I’m sure you’re not fretting over it, though.
If you’re merely a BGT part-timer (in that you don’t immediately switch over to ITV2 when the main show finishes), you will likely, and enviably, not be aware of Callum, so let me tell you what he did: he badly impersonated Bubbles DeVere, one of Matt Lucas’s most flamboyant Little Britain creations.
Quite wisely, David Walliams did not even make reference to the fact that he had some small part in creating this horrendous audition, which also saw Callum’s mum (clearly blind to her son’s lack of talent) rush onto the stage with bottles of champagne when she heard the character’s catchphrase, ‘Champagne! Champagne for everyone!’
You genuinely didn’t miss much, and I’m only writing about a More Talent act because of the talent drought which the ITV show appeared to have.
Fingers crossed there will be more ‘talent’ next week.
Britain’s Got Talent and Britain’s Got More Talent are on Saturday evenings on ITV and ITV2
What did you think of this week’s Britain’s Got Talent? Do you agree or disagree with my review? Feel free to comment below or tweet me about this or any other TV show – @UKTVReviewer
You can also see my recommendations for the coming week’s TV on this blog, published every Saturday at midnight.
I just want to take this opportunity to raise awareness for Alex Neal.
Alex is seventeen-years-old and a fellow student of mine at Sunderland College. She has a very rare bone tumour, called chondrosarcoma, which is growing around her brain and has already affected her eyesight and hormone levels, meaning she will have to rely on HRT for the rest of her life.
This tumour cannot be treated in the UK. Therefore, Alex must travel to Florida to have it treated there. The NHS have agreed to fund her visit – but only with one parent accompanying her.
£5,000 is needed to send both of Alex’s parents to Florida with her for this urgent treatment. At the time of writing, an incredible £1,340 has been raised but her family need more and have been campaigning by holding ‘Action 4 Alex’ car boot sales, cake sales and selling wristbands.
Any money would be greatly appreciated by Alex’s family. Even spreading the word and encouraging others to get involved would, I’m sure, be greatly appreciated.