‘The X Factor’ – Episode 9.3

The X Factor – which, as well as shedding viewers, seems to be lampooning itself more and more as the weeks go on – reached the third episode of its ninth run this week.

‘THE BEST PERFORMERS IN A LONG WHILE’

Despite many clearly not being so, I am quite impressed with the hopefuls this year. Of course, as I’ve said before, I didn’t watch the previous series but it seems that this series has seen the best performers in a long while – and the audition process isn’t even over yet!

Having said this, I  really would like to see more groups. We definitely haven’t been presented with as many – if any – this year, have we? After Little Mix’s success last time around, you’d think Simon Cowell would have bombarded us with them! At this rate, poor Louis will be worrying about his job…

So, to these brilliant auditionees I alluded to. This week was one of those very rare ones, whether it be in The X Factor or Britain’s Got Talent, where we actually see more successful performers than deluded ones. And boy, were there a lot of successful singers this week:

Nicola Marie

When she opened her mouth and didn’t bloody shut it for ten minutes, I thought Nicola would be more suited to Loose Women than The X Factor (I would describe her as a more talkative and excitable Jodie Prenger, if you can imagine such a thing) but she had an okay voice. It wasn’t brilliant by any means but it was okay. Also, whilst being true to her personality, the dancing – as Gary would concur – was a tad extreme and…daring.  I was just about to write that I doubt she’ll get past Boot Camp but then again, it happened with Jedward…and Wagner…and Leon Jackson!

Alison Brunton

Oh my God. Usually the ‘bad’ auditions are entertaining and amusing but this ‘bad’ one – and it was ‘bad’ – just saddened me. Firstly, it was sad for Alison herself: aged 51, she just wanted one last shot at the big time which made me feel a little sorry for her. However, my sympathy soon waned when I saw her teenage son and daughter looking mortified at their mother’s attempts at singing. Why put your kids through that embarrassment? They had clearly been forced or bribed into attending the audition that day and their humiliation was all too palpable as they stood backstage with Dermot and confessed to him that they would rather have been anywhere in the world but there at that moment. Seeing Alison’s daughter’s misery broke my heart: how could she put her own daughter through that? If my mam did that, I…oh it doesn’t bear thinking about.

Joseph Whelan

Joseph’s style of singing is something I can’t recall having heard on The X Factor before – it’s popular at the moment in the music world and I’m sure will stand him in good stead on the show. Plus, his little boy is so cute!

Melanie Masson

This likeable fairy (don’t ask) – and wife of actor Forbes Masson – did extremely well in her audition, gaining high praise from all judges and the audience. Now…I thought she was quite good but I certainly wasn’t as impressed as the judging panel or the arena crowd. I just think she screams an awful lot, rather than singing. Unfortunately, I don’t find it to be tuneful screaming either. I wish her luck, though – she clearly has competence.

Jake Quickenden

I thought Jake had good vocals. Once again, they weren’t astounding but he undoubtedly has talent, that’s for sure! I have to confess that I found the audition and his rendition of Kings of Leon’s  ‘Need Somebody’ a little boring but maybe that’s just me. After all, what do I know? I’m just one of the very few viewers…

Twitter – @UKTVReviewer

Also, keep up-to-date with the latest TV news, reviews and interviews at www.thecustardtv.com, where some of my articles will also appear.

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